yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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