Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
