The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
