Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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