scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
