Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
As shirtless as possible
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize