Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
