make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I have tasted many bathrooms
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
