...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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