I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
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until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
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Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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