idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize