Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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