at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
