you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My feet surprised me
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
