i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
