im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
