are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
