my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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