Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
