Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
As shirtless as possible
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
