i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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