So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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