Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
