is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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