I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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