tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
