I never want to see another naked old woman again.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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