I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
