My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
that's an acceptable place to lick
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
