yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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