there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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