I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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