I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
