I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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