too bad you live with your parents still
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
