I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
