In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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