I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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