okay pat passed out under dana's car
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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