And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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