i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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