Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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