she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
