she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
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Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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