nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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