I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
