My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
