There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
