Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
