This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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