just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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