You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
