do herpes really smell.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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