Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
