He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
