Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
operation have a gay friend backfired
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
