I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
