I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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