you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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