Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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