Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
